MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 2, Issue 32

Story

"Man, this bites!" I tell Deon. "I thought for sure we could beat those guys!"

"Yeah", Deon says, "We should have whipped their tail all over the soccer field, Jason!"

The final whistle sounds and the score is-Bethel-2, Our team-0. That is certainly not the way it was supposed to turn out. We always beat Bethel. The "Bethel Bumblers" is what they are called. "Deon, I think maybe they bought off the refs or something. What do you think?"

"Jason, that's nuts. They just had a good game. That's all!" Deon says.

"No really, man, I think the Bethel players know somebody and they fixed the match! That's the only way they could beat us!" I reply angrily.

"Man, Jason, you are really over the top on this one, aren't you? Just let it go, and lets go over and shake their hands", says Deon.

"No way", I yell "I'm not shaking hands with cheaters!" With that, I leave and head towards the showers.

Coach Schultz comes in right after me with a most unhappy look on his face. "Jason, can we talk a minute?"

"Yeah", I say, "although I know what you want to talk about, and I'm not sorry that I left the field. Bethel's just a bunch of cheaters!" I complain.

"Jason, I understand that you're upset. But remember, 'Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it.'" With that, Coach leaves me alone to think about what he's said.

Deon comes in and says, "You know, the Bethel guys were pretty cool. You really should have gone over with the team."

"Yeah," I say, "I know. Next time I'll be a better sport. After all, 'Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it'".

Maxim

• "Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it."
  Ted Engstrom

Featured character trait

• Character-I have the strength to live out my beliefs.

Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values)

• Humility-I realize that I am not perfect; I am able to acknowledge my faults and wrongdoing, and I try to make them right.
• Integrity-My actions and decisions are guided by my values.
• Respect- I acknowledge the innate dignity of each person and my actions reflect my beliefs.
• Responsibility - I recognize my duty and honor it.

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time

• Discuss as a family how you would define "good sportsmanship". Start with the example in the story with Jason and Bethel, but then come up with real life situations that each family member can share.
• Think about situations in your life, as an adult, that makes you feel angry and disappointed. Share these with the family and talk about how you handle the situation. Try and bring up times when you feel like you handled the situation well and times when you would have handled things differently.
• One of the discussion starters brought up the question of professional athletes as role models. Talk about this idea and discuss whether you feel it is important that professional athletes act as good role models and if so, how you feel today's popular athletes are doing.
• Ask your kids to speak openly and honestly about what, if any, incidences of un-sportsmanlike behavior they experience either in school or in after school activities. Talk about the difference between what you "know" and what you "feel", and how you deal with a situation when you know what to do, but feel strongly against acting on it.
• Talk to your kids about how to deal with a friend that you feel is not acting in a sportsmanlike manner.

Discussion starters

• Identify the key points of the story. What is the main lesson and what are some more subtle points the story of Jason and Deon?
• Do kids feel pressure to succeed in sports? If so, where does this pressure most often come from (discuss the sources of pressure)?
• How do you think Deon was able to handle the loss so well, while Jason resorted to calling the Bethel team "cheaters"?
• Should Deon have done more to encourage Jason to get over his anger and be a good sport? If so, what could he have done?
• Do you think that the way the coach handled the situation was appropriate? Would you have done or more or less in this situation? Explain.
• What are some situations, besides athletics, that can cause competitive tempers to flair?
• What are some examples of un-sportsmanlike behavior?
• What are some examples of sportsmanlike behavior? Remember, think outside of just athletics.
• How can kids handle the anger associated with losing in a healthy manner?

Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

Related Links

• The Citizenship Through Sports Alliance
  http://www.sportsmanship.org
• NCAA Committee on Sportsmanship and Ethical Conduct
  http://www.ncaa.org/sportsmanship